Can We Really Sustain Love Without Marriage?
Marriage is one of the fundamental human activities to exhibit relationship.In my opinion it is more a social obligation than personal.Irrespective of caste, creed, religion and regions we find the ceremony like marriages, established and engraved as old as time.The big question is: Is it really so important? Basically in Asian and African countries marriage is not motivated by the desire to bear child or the desire to settle.In western countries that have somewhat liberal look towards sex, the marriage is more a system to support late phase of life based on mutual consent and liking without much priority given to sex.Here perhaps sex is the secondary outcome of living together which turns into bearing babies.
In fact the hormonal stimulus after the attainment of puberty is what that provokes two genders to come in close to each other.It’s the sexual urge of partners that makes two persons being attracted to each other.We can imagine this situation with example suppose we don’t know the opposite partner.We met first time.The first criterion to be attracted is her or his look.The look lures us to talk and then to meet and touch and so on.Love is an aftermath of such attraction and interaction.
In Indian context, the concept of love and marriage is little complicated.They worship love.And believe that the love is at the center of the universe around which rotates the all biological and non biological phenomenon.Marriage is an integral part of their social life that they perform it very religiously and ostentatiously.But over the period social customs and norms became so narrowed and covert that it became almost like a sin to express one’s love for his or her “attractant” (partner).In families a grown up child/adult cannot express his desire of marrying to his or her boyfriend or girlfriend.Boys and girls are afraid of exposing their feelings to their parents and sometimes even to their relatives.Why is this so?
It is very much lying in their social norms.Here the family are so socially bound that their desires, ambitions and even competitions are always with respect to the other families in society.Their dignity, respect and insult and derogations all are judged with respect to their neighbors.Overt expression of sex or the matter which insinuates towards sex is supposed to be taboo.The cultural tendency to hide such matters has grown up to such extent that expressions of such feelings are considered as indiscipline and are presumed to be equivalent to sin.People are not ready to accept the truth that the very act of procreation (sex) should or can be talked overtly and publicly.The biggest irony is what they all do at night are reluctant to speak about the same in day.They feel pleasure and in fact carry out the costlier bonanza of marriage ceremony to give their daughter or son at their own will but the same is considered wrong if the two subjects are taking such action by themselves.
May be this is because here the family members are too involved and entangled among them where ambitions, goals, aspirations and expectations are shared intensively with each other.That may be one reason that parents are so critical and influential in affecting the decision of choice of partners.Another reason seems to be that even after marriage the couples are expected to stay at home with their parents.It means the house and the land which are so costlier are in fact provided by parents.Hence, if we see the parental influence on the decision over choice of partners it seems that the economics of running a life can also be quite a strong factor.
It is quite natural and biological to be attracted towards opposite sex.It’s albeit a different issue that people are reluctant to accept and express such feelings.But simply our inhibition from avowal of the urge will not abolish the nature’s fact.We will have to agree that love germinates in all hearts.All of us want to love and to be loved.Marriage is just a social certificate not to infringe the rights of a particular person over his or her partner by other.It can be seen as instrument to provide social security which is required by the social animals.Otherwise, you imagine, you live in jungle and you love a person.Will you need to carry on a ceremony like marriage there in the jungle also? So the marriage is absolutely a social formality which has no relationship with love.
Love is a feeling, which is born out of togetherness and develops with desire to share one’s emotions with each other.Love matures with emotional obligation of partners involved with promises that they will be together in all the moments of life.Be it sorrow or be it joy both will relish the pleasure and qualms with equanimity.You are in love and you want to live together.You live.Where is the question of marriage like ceremony or event? Pooh it!! Till the time we give these societal norms an upper hand over our life, we seemed to be cornered more and more.We smother our desire of living freely.
The term “living relationship” is very much in talk these days.I consider it the best way to live if you love each other.This type of relationship has evolved under the intense desire of getting free of shackles imposed by so called custodians of society.It is a symbol of expression that bolsters the idea of love without self interest.It is promulgation of the idea that love needs not be confined and defined by the phrases framed by society with exaggerated ambitions of social rulings.Love whomever you like, stay with him/her and live your life.Don’t ever worry what society will say.But be honest and if you truly love each other You are bound to marry even you don’t say it “marriage”.
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